[RedSlayer]

Walking down the alley of (insert city here)'s streets, weary from your last battle, you stumble across the local tavern. Seeing an opportunity to rest, or maybe have a drink and a chat, you push the door open and enter the building...

...

...And what? Absolutely nothing is going on? Everyone is looking at you, silently? The bar is empty and the lights are turned off? No! It's a bar, and it's lively, and full of music, and people are bloody talking!

So, what are they saying? This is a list of 1001 things you'd hear the npcs at a lively bar talking about. Use it to give a short boost of rp when you need it.

1) "Look, I can understand the Dwarf, but what were you doing with the stepladder?"

[Raven Bloodmoon]

2) So there I was, armed with an axe in one hand and a goblin in the other.

[RedSlayer]

3) "...and by the time the gnome got the manacles off me, the couch was on fire."

4)"...and so I say to him 'Oh, you meant THAT kind of lay on hands."

5) "... and that's why I'll never trust a satyr with babysitting again."

6)"So the elf-priestess comes up to me and says: 'Is that a spryte in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?'"

[Dthclaw]

7) "Well, dropping a fireball into the town square didn't make me popular with the guard, but at least I got the spider."

[JosephBlackly]

8) "...And all because I wasn't wearing pants."

9) "Anyway, long story short, I use to be a woman."

10) "...And so, I told my dwarf friend to pull the lever, and I was launched from the catapult at the mighty dragon! ...I don't remember much after that."

11) "I don't know about you, but I personally don't care for the taste of brains."

[RedSlayer]

12) Man talking to mean looking Half-Orc: "Tell me, were you born that ugly or was your mother into reptiles?"
Man snickering over on the other end of the bar: "That Ventrilliquism spell was worth every copper..."

[Raven Bloodmoon]

13) A sock puppet held up behind where a rude gnomish patron's head use to be, "... and sorry about my previous rudeness."

14) "...if it wasn't for that horse, I'd not have spent the year at the academy"

15) "...so I cast magic missile at the darkness..."

[Shadowkami]

16) Anyway, so there we were, surrounded by goblins, with no hope of escape... *falls asleep*

[JosephBlackly]

17) *BUUUUUUUUURP!*

18) "...And this one time, at band camp..."

19) "So, it all started when I told this old cranky wizard where he could shove that wand of his..."

20) "In the end, though, it turned out that the dragon's horde was actually just a pile of rags."

[drhunter]

21) "...I'll never figure out what happened after that, but those were the tastiest pies I've ever had!"

22) A man holding a knife as if to throw it at somebody's hat "Quiet quiet! I can do this! Just trust me on this, I think I've done it before."

23) "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

24) "...it's not like she didn't enjoy it!"

[Shadowkami]

25) ...yeah, but no one told ME that he was wearing the Belt of Gender Changing!

26) ...but it turned out that the recipe had a misspelling, the potion made the drinker immoral!

[JosephBlackly]

27) "That made absolutely no sense whatsoever! ...Tell me more."

28) "...And that's how you teach an elephant to juggle goblins."

29) "I read somewhere that if you eat the brains of strange creatures, you get some of their powers. I wanted to test the theory on something easy first, so I cracked open the skull of my neighbor's dog and tried it. All that happened was I had strange urges to mark my territory and lick myself..."

[Shadowkami]

30) ...Anyway, that last tavern might have burned down even if we weren't there!

[Raven Bloodmoon]

31) "...that's odd. I don't remember there being a dagger in my chest a minute ago."

[RedSlayer]

32) "Professor Morthos made us go out to the Black courtyard, where the Imp students and the Quasit familiars were doing a reenactment of the Blood Wars. I guess it was supposed to be educational, but I haven't slept in months."