3 How much is too much? (and on that note) How much is too little?
and help is good help
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Number 1:
There are two things you need to keep your players happy. Communication and communication. While that may technically only be one thing, I thought it important enough to mention twice. Keep the lines of communication open. One way, if your players don't mind the extra time, is to create a DM survey that they can fill out at the end of each session. It should include a range of questions that rate different aspects of you as a DM. For this to work, there can be NO retaliation for low marks. Another option is rather simple. Talk to them. Talk with them about their characters, what they are looking to achieve eventually, what sort of things they like to do, etc. This will help you feel out how much they want to mindlessly kill things as opposed to how much they want to roleplay. Once you understand what style they like, check out the DMG II. The beginning of the book has some excellent advice on adapting campaigns to different player styles.
Number 2:
When it comes to creating plots, I start with the general environment - the setting itself. There are a lot of forces at play in a world at any one time, ranging from political to religious to economic, etc. I home in on the major movements at the timeframe the players are playing in, and try to squeeze a couple plots out of that. I may figure out that the far off country is planning an invasion of the adventurers' homeland in a couple of years, a bizarre religious movement is gaining momentum in the north, and taxes were just raised by the local lord. That gives three potential plot lines. Now figure out how they manifest themselves in the daily or not so daily events in the world. These will not change unless someone acts on them, but because they are begin done by
people now instead of just amorphous concepts like "a lich moves in next door", you can start to develop the NPCs running things as you figure out how they will adapt to what is happening. You also have plots that are flexible enough to easily change if the PCs do anything unexpected. Remember the DM credo - "PCs do the weirdest things." As far as railroading is concerned, sometimes the NPCs will outsmart the PCs. This railroading is unavoidable; tell them tough luck and game on. Sometimes, the PCs will do things you did not intend, like bypass entire adventures; that's fine. They skipped it, so don't force them into the adventure unless circumstances are such that it would be unavoidable.
Number 3:
I try to take a minimalist approach. I also take an approach drawn largely from the horror genre. There are two ways to build tention: put the PCs' lives in danger and make the PCs think their lives are in danger. Now, you can take the very trite method and focus on big monsters, or you can take the indirect method and focus on everything
but the big monster. The latter is what
good horror does. It focuses on the atmosphere and the characters' reactions to their surroundings to build tention. The indirect method tends to produce more engrossing sessions where the players really start to feel like they are in their PCs' shoes (in my groups, at least). The more direct method is ideal for a more shallow game with people who prefer hack and slash gaming.
The reason I spend so much time talking about tention is because a good story is like music in many ways. Everything is about building tention and then resolving it. An adventure should have lots of bits of tention that are resolved by the PCs. These are the various encounters. By concentrating on the atmosphere, you are able to adjust the tention in the game very easily. Take the two descriptions below:
You are walking down the narrow corridor and you see a door 30 feet in front of you. It is wooden and has a handle. You hear a clicking noise from beyond it. What do you do?
As you creep down the dank castle corridor, you watch as your shadows dance about in the flickering torchlight. The low ceiling and narrow moldy walls have forced you into single file, and you cannot help but feel a little claustrophobic. After a few steps you see an old, algae-covered door,--its heavy timbers slightly bowed with age, its bronze doorhandle covered in tarnish. Suddenly you hear a horrible noise from beyond that door thirty feet from you. "Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!"
Which one would have your characters more worried? Use this to control the atmosphere, and do not be afraid to vary things occasionally. You could very easily make that noise be a squeeking clockwork instead of a horrid ball of ooze covered in a hundred eyes moving to engulf the party. For more advice on this matter, look up an article by H.P. Lovecraft called "How to Write Weird Fiction." The amount of stuff you can learn from that is enormous.